Table For Four, Please

Restaurant Host: Hello.
Me: Hi, table for four, please.
Host: Sure, and your name.
Me: Smith.
Host: Great. And do you and your guests have your vaccination cards?
Me: Hmmm, well first… Can you tell us who our server will be?
Host: Um, looks like Brad will be your server tonight.
Me: Great. Can you show us Brad’s vaccination card?
Host: Um…
Me: Oh, and while you are at it, can you also provide me with proof that Brad is not a carrier of HIV, Hepatitis A or B, or any other communicable diseases? Same for you and the kitchen staff.
Host: Um…
Me: Also, we would prefer not to be served by someone who is on or uses recreational drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, fentanyl, etc. So if you could provide us with Brad’s most recent tox screen, that would be great. Matter of fact, I will need to see all of your employees’ medical history.
Host: Um… Let me get the manager for you.
Me: That would be great, thanks. Make sure they have their vax card and medical records please.

Here’s the thing. Nobody needs restaurants. And other places. But they need us. Start standing your ground.

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